A Chapter Ending (for now)

I've avoided writing the following words. The Adored Life has been a wonderful chapter of my life. The chapter where I purposely wrote about my hopes, fears and struggles about college. I purposely wrote truthfully so that someday when I was struggling with life I could look back and see what I had come out of and survived. I am so glad I did because I am now at that period of needing to look back and seeing where I've come from. 

Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat

Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat

I started blogging for the fun of it. I never cared about the statistics, money or anything else. I just did it for myself. I didn't care about anything but the pure fun of blogging. Somewhere along the way I lost that. I got caught up in checking my stats every single day. I got caught up in buying more and more and more new clothes because I felt like I had nothing to offer otherwise. I started attending blogger events and comparing myself. I looked down on others because they weren't, in my head, as in the game as I was. I got so incredibly caught up in the superficial aspect of wearing pretty clothes, offering a funny story and my ego being stroked because someone liked my outfit. 

I got to work with so many great companies. I was so thankful for the relationships I made. Some of my best friends have come from blogging. You have helped me get through so many struggles. In so many ways I tried to keep going because I felt like I owed you it. You, my great, wonderful, loyal readers totally helped me. 

Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat

Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat

Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat
Scarf: Unknown (similar)(similar)
Sweater: Gap (similar)
Hat: Target (exact)
Pants: Nordstrom Rack (similar)
Shoes: Born (similar)

I'm so sad that I really got caught up in the shallowness of the blogging world. That I cared more about my statistics and became one of those people who based their self esteem on something that could be so fickle. I'm ashamed that I just got so caught up in *the game* and lost sight of who I really am. That shallowness extends into my life and I have got to take some time to become the Alissa I was and know that I want to be. I don't want to focus on things such as how many times I've worn a shirt, the brand I am wearing, anything like that. I want to be the happy, confident, ball-busting woman that I know that I can and want to be. 

Blogging was never a job. It was a fun hobby. I allowed myself to think entirely too much of myself. No one is going to freak out if you miss one post. This isn't a job. It's been a fun, fun hobby but it's not a job. When you start to look at blogging from a business perspective it can take out all of the joy. There is a life beyond blogging. Perhaps the next year will bring me back to blogging but I know that for right now, it's time to focus on other things. 

I love all of you. All of you who have reached out to me and asked where I am, I can't thank you enough. I considered just trying to keep things light around here but I respect you too much and want to always be honest with you. 

It's been fun. I might be back in a few months. 2015 could be a great year and I will come back stronger than ever. I'm not sure for now. It's hard to know how to end this sort of post. It's hard to know what's going to happen in the future. What I do know though is that I'm going to use this time to really focus on what matters and becoming the woman I want to be.
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Alissa versus The Spanish Matador

 In my quest to you know, spice up the job life and support the Kansas City Chiefs (Mostly I care because I need to be able to make small talk at work.) I've tried to inject more color into my life. However, this mission went a step in the wrong direction the other day. Scroll below for the example. See this? See that? See that black and white? See that red? I didn't see it. I went into work at 7 am and realized that I might as well be headed into work into a dirt arena because I am dressed like a Spanish Matador. Yes, I somehow managed to wear a black and white top with a bow, with a red jacket, with black pants and not see that I basically am a Spanish Matador. That happened. 

 Shirt: Joe Fresh (similar
Jacket: Love21 (similar)
Shoes: Target (exact)
Pants: Loft (exact)
Earrings: Antonio Melani

So you know, killing it over here. Professional by 7am-5 pm, Spanish matador every other moment. I can be booked for the weekend if you need a good show for your kids birthday party. I take payment in shoes.   photo Sig-09_zps87ca91c7.png Share


A Touch of Embellishment

One of the things that I swore when I got a real job was that I wasn't going to always wear black and white. "How incredible boring." "How un-blogger to only wear black and white." Yet, almost a month into working full-time I am here to report that I have had to write several Post-It notes reminding myself to not wear so much freaking black and white. And if I insist upon doing so, it cannot simply be just black and white. There must be an added touch or point of interest.

 My boss just gets dressed in the morning. I have a philosophical conversation with myself at 6 am about what wearing black and white for the second day in a row says about me. Oy. The differences between men and women. 

Shirt: Ann Taylor (similar) (similar)
Skirt: Ann Taylor (similar in black)
Shoes: Target (exact)
Bracelets: gifts (similar)
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One Month Career Confessions

I've now had a career for a month. A month. In that time, I have learned more about what I do but you guy aren't here for that. You are here for the classic Alissa moments that we all knew would take place. 

During the second week of work I got an email from my boss on Saturday about needing to talk to me first thing Monday. No problem. I arrive at work early and call him while he's at a conference out of town. My command was simple: buy a Sporting KC jersey and ship it to him in the hotel. "You can find my address in my calendar."  No problem. I look on the calendar and can only find one address. I assume that naturally has to be the right address and go off. Now, apparently, over the weekend every sports store in the Metro sold out of XL Sporting KC jerseys. My phone was dying. I didn't have a charger. Life might as well have been ending because I didn't have gps. Did I call to confirm the address? No because stupid my iPhone's has awful battery life. 
I finally found a jersey. I thought about how jerseys could be improved. I then took the important jersey to Fedex overnight it. So at this point, I have basically spent $200 on the delivery of a basic jersey. I'm all proud of myself for managing the office by myself and officially delivering such an important package. 

The next morning I track my package. Drink a Vanilla Coke Zero. Mentally put my feet up on the desk because I am killing it. Then I get a text from my boss. "Check when the package is supposed to arrive." I check. It's out for delivery. Surely it will be there soon I thought. An hour later, 15 phone calls and some praying I realize that I selected "view work week" in Outlook instead of "view week" and sent it to the wrong hotel. Yes, I did that. Classic Alissa. 

Striped Shirt: H&M (exact for $20
Peplum Tank: Target (similar for $11)
Pants: DKNY (very similar)
Shoes: Target (exact and on sale)
Necklaces: C/O Onecklace and Forever 21
Earrings: J. Crew Factory (similar)

Second confession: In an effort to make small talk with my boss at 7:30 am I decided to ask if he went to the Royals game. He leaned back to look at me through my door. "Uh... you mean the game that was in California last night?" Yes, yes. I definitely meant that game but instead I just turned red, he laughed and I realized I can never make small talk about sports in the office again. 
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Oh Hey! I Got Job!

One of the positive changes that happened in the past month was that I landed a job. Yep. That's right. After months of tears, eating tear-flavored Chipotle because I was sobbing so hard about job rejection.... I have a job. I take that back, I have a pretty great job that I absolutely love and still understand little about. Yes, I said that. I can say that because I went into my marketing job with the understanding that I know nothing about supply chain management but I know that it basically is how my shoes go from point A (any online store) to point B (my feet) and such. I started on September 8th. Since that date I have managed to trip over carpet, forget my office phone number as I am giving it out and shipped a package to my boss at the wrong hotel but hey! I got a job. 

 Dress: Topshop (similar) (similar in floral)
Shoe: Target (exact)
Necklace: C/O Hello Cheeseburger 
Really though, how much more do you need to know? If you're in the KC metro area and your package arrives on time, you can totally thank me. You cannot complain to me because I don't have that much control over it at all and all I do is market.   photo Sig-09_zps87ca91c7.png Share