The dreaded day came. It was a day that I could no longer wear jeans and a shirt and be still weather appropriate. I knew I had to go to my dreaded shorts drawer. I specifically made myself be alone so I could deal with whatever emotions I had. In addition to the general dread of shorts season, I knew that a lot of shorts were't going to fit due to my weight gain. Well, that day came and not only did it come way too fast, it came on a day where I don't think I could have felt more bloated. I felt disgusting.
Top: C/O GordmansA few weeks later I joined a fitness program. A very nice, very expensive one that will hold me accountable. I met with a trainer and she reminded me that I could either accept where I was right then and there and work to become the person I want to be, or I could continue to focus on what bothered me and look back in 10 years and think about the fact that I was held back by something. That really stuck with me. I've gotten into the mindset of being able to accept where I am today but never forgiving myself for HOW I got where I am today.
Top: C/O GordmansI got this chambray shirt from Gordman's and honestly? It's so freaking comfortable and it's like the best wardrobe stable there is. I felt so good in it and then I got in front of a camera and I was just blaahhhh. But you know what? I realized something, sometimes I just need to realize that I can still feel pretty and good about myself despite wearing shorts with legs that are basically reflectors because they are so white. I ended up wearing this and honestly? After about an hour I forgot how I thought I looked and was able to focus on how great I felt as I ate pizza outside.
Top: C/O Gordmans
I honestly debated whether or not I was going to post this outfit because well, it just felt a little too vulnerable. It might sound silly that an outfit is vulnerable when really I'm covered up, but when you reveal your flaws to the internet, you can't help but be a little worried about the response you are going to get. You guys have always been the biggest supporter and I love the community that I have through you. So, as one friend to another, the next time you tell yourself that ANY part of you isn't good enough, please read this. Then repeat. Then remember that you are going to regret all the times that you've held yourself back because of insecurities.
P.S. You should know you rock and that you are NOT defined by your size, thighs, your looks or anything else like that. You keep on being you and don't let ANYTHING change that.