25 No Longer Scares Me; Maybe A Quarter Life Crisis is Actually Motivating
Guys. It happened to me. I got a year older. Not just a year old, I hit the middle of my 20’s. How? How? I don’t even feel silly for saying this because I have to own it, but honestly 25 has always been a scary age for me. I’ve been here for a quarter of a century and I still can’t commit to what kind of car I want, a nail polish for more than two days, a lipstick brand or manage to keep a pet fish alive.
For about the last three months I’ve been mentally preparing for a breakdown as people gently started reminding me that I was going to be 25 soon. “Get it together Alissa, you’ve been wasting away for 24.95 years and now it’s GO time,” I thought I heard in those gentle reminders. I even did prep-reading for the impending quarter life crisis I fully planned/plan on having.
I started doing what every person my age would do. I watched Netflix and yelled at it when it asked me if I was still watching over four times (Note: I’m freaking doing you a favor Netflix so why are you bothering me?) and looking at photos of apartments I can never afford but hoping I won the lottery despite never having played. Because all of that felt so much better than dealing with real life feels. Ya feel?
But then this really funny thing happened the morning I woke up and was sung “Happy Birthday” to on the phone and bombarded with sweet messages. I realized that I had been thinking about 25 really wrong. I STILL have no idea what I’m going to do in life but I realized that no one does but no one talks about the things in life that scare them in the blogging world.
It was like a light bulb went off. I have no idea what I’m doing; I’m still just waiting for that day that I have a decent car, rent a beautiful apartment and afford to buy things full-price. Most people at my age have that, but that gets into the comparison game and I’m refusing to do that.
But what I’ve decided to do at 25 isn’t groundbreaking, it’s simple. I’m going to be incredibly honest, embrace who I am, say the things that I feel like are avoided in the blogging word of pretty clothes, amazing photos and everything light and pretty. Life is anything but these things and I realized that I was discontent with where I was headed with content because I needed someone else to say what I was thinking. But then I stopped. Why am I not the one talking about the things that I think we are all feeling but don’t want to discuss?
Monday’s post didn’t even scare me because I realized I’ve been given an amazing platform by YOU. You’ve given me a chance to just say it. A chance to say that life happens and that you aren’t alone.
The pressure I’m feeling at 25 is to work my butt off. It’s to say what’s really on my mind and pursue things, even if they end up not being for me, I at least still went for it and that’s exactly what I’m doing.
I’ve gone out and worked with small businesses in the area. I’ve been able to be upfront with them about my skills, tell them how I work and they choose to work with me. How incredibly lucky am I? Like life is really great and just because one thing (i.e. body image) isn’t quite where you want it to be, you can still go out there and hustle to.the.bank. and fulfilling your passions.
I completely focused on the fact that 25 meant I was solidly in my mid-20’s and that meant I didn’t have a free pass of being young and stupid. 25 was the sign I had to get it in gear. But in reality, 25 is the motivation I needed to become me at my happiest.