A Chapter Ending (for now)

I’ve avoided writing the following words. The Adored Life has been a wonderful chapter of my life. The chapter where I purposely wrote about my hopes, fears and struggles about college. I purposely wrote truthfully so that someday when I was struggling with life I could look back and see what I had come out of and survived. I am so glad I did because I am now at that period of needing to look back and seeing where I’ve come from. 

Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat

Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat
I started blogging for the fun of it. I never cared about the statistics, money or anything else. I just did it for myself. I didn’t care about anything but the pure fun of blogging. Somewhere along the way I lost that. I got caught up in checking my stats every single day. I got caught up in buying more and more and more new clothes because I felt like I had nothing to offer otherwise. I started attending blogger events and comparing myself. I looked down on others because they weren’t, in my head, as in the game as I was. I got so incredibly caught up in the superficial aspect of wearing pretty clothes, offering a funny story and my ego being stroked because someone liked my outfit. 

I got to work with so many great companies. I was so thankful for the relationships I made. Some of my best friends have come from blogging. You have helped me get through so many struggles. In so many ways I tried to keep going because I felt like I owed you it. You, my great, wonderful, loyal readers totally helped me. 

Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat
Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat

Fall Zara Blanket Scarf Outfit With Hat
Scarf: Unknown (similar)(similar)
Sweater: Gap (similar)
Hat: Target (exact)
Pants: Nordstrom Rack (similar)
Shoes: Born (similar)

I’m so sad that I really got caught up in the shallowness of the blogging world. That I cared more about my statistics and became one of those people who based their self esteem on something that could be so fickle. I’m ashamed that I just got so caught up in *the game* and lost sight of who I really am. That shallowness extends into my life and I have got to take some time to become the Alissa I was and know that I want to be. I don’t want to focus on things such as how many times I’ve worn a shirt, the brand I am wearing, anything like that. I want to be the happy, confident, ball-busting woman that I know that I can and want to be. 

Blogging was never a job. It was a fun hobby. I allowed myself to think entirely too much of myself. No one is going to freak out if you miss one post. This isn’t a job. It’s been a fun, fun hobby but it’s not a job. When you start to look at blogging from a business perspective it can take out all of the joy. There is a life beyond blogging. Perhaps the next year will bring me back to blogging but I know that for right now, it’s time to focus on other things. 

I love all of you. All of you who have reached out to me and asked where I am, I can’t thank you enough. I considered just trying to keep things light around here but I respect you too much and want to always be honest with you. 

It’s been fun. I might be back in a few months. 2015 could be a great year and I will come back stronger than ever. I’m not sure for now. It’s hard to know how to end this sort of post. It’s hard to know what’s going to happen in the future. What I do know though is that I’m going to use this time to really focus on what matters and becoming the woman I want to be.