Dear Birchbox: We are over. Never, ever getting back together

Dear Birchbox,
     I liked you in the beginning, perhaps it was just the honeymoon phase. Then you came for the 2nd month and well, the honeymoon phase I felt the month before was over. Then the 3rd month came and I thought that maybe I was just having too high of expectations. Then we arrived at October, the 4th month of our relationship and I have to tell you something. It’s you, not me. You were late, you were slow to arrive and left me wanting more. You make me feel disappointed and like someone sent me the leftovers from their bathroom that they didn’t want. I refuse to take your crap. 
We are over. 
Done. 
You were nice in the beginning. 
Sincerely,
Alissa