Finding Your Style… When Your Size Isn’t Represented

If you want to read more about my style and body image journey, this is a great post to start with.

I wear a size 10/12. The average woman is a size 16. So why is it that I struggle to EVER see anyone with a similar body type to mine or the average size portrayed in advertising? I’m not against plus-size models or super thin ones, this is not about this. What I am against is the complete gap between the two that somehow makes it bad to be perfectly average. But guess what? I still buy clothes. I still want to look good. I’m so glad that the current movement is body positive, by why stop there? Why not include someone in the middle? What is the is apprehension to show what is average? Why can’t you put in someone that I can identify with and most likely buy MORE items from because I can see how it would fit my body.

Finding your style when you size isn't represented } theadoredlife.com

Dress: Large (Exact) / Shoes: (Similar/ Earrings: (Similar)

Photos by Shannon

It’s not truly inclusive if you stick one plus-sized model in and call it good and body positive. Don’t tell me to be body positive and then refuse to show my body type. 

I’m tired of body positive campaigns that are purely just to take my money. I get it, it’s trendy to be body positive, but no one takes it a step farther. If you are actually body positive you wouldn’t just present two different sides of the spectrum like there is no middle. Also, it completely plays into the female marketing thing of add some pink + glitter and you can charge $15 more and no one will notice.

I don’t try a ton of trends anymore. Why? Take this summer. Everything is thin straps and sheer off the shoulder. Guess what? My D-cup boobs aren’t about to support themselves. I have to wear a thick bra and no, I cannot do off the shoulder tops. Plus all the stupid special hangers you have to use to hang those tops are annoying! I feel like because I don’t have a lot of visuals for someone with my body type I am much more cautious about how I wear tends and thus, I am more choosy.

Naturally Curly Hairstyle | theadoredlife.comNaturally Curly Hairstyle | theadoredlife.com

Dress: Large (Exact) / Shoes: (Similar/ Earrings: (Similar)

Listen, people with chests have money too. We like to spend it and all we ask ask is that you consider maybe making something for the average bra size. Or like, stop showing everything with a super thin bralette like somehow when I take a step my chest isn’t going to fall out of the barely there fabric? I need a wire or else.

I know what my body looks like and am acutely aware of what does NOT work. As a result, I’m focusing on my business wardrobe. I’m picking much less trendy items and classic staples are now my jam. Are they boring? Yeah, they are. But do they work and fit my curves like a glove? Yes. But do I get effing tired of going with classic items just because they don’t look like trash on me? YES!

Finding your style when you size isn't represented } theadoredlife.com

Dress: Large (Exact) / Shoes: (Similar/ Earrings: (Similar)

Photos by Shannon

I don’t actually look at outfit ideas anymore. It’s not because I don’t need the inspiration but it’s because I’m so tired of looking at an outfit on someone else with a completely different body type and then going through horrible self-talk when it doesn’t work. DUH Alissa! It’s not going to look the same your curves vs  a very straight and narrow body! And that’s fine for it to look great on someone else! But it’s unrealistic for me to simply go down a bad mental route just because I was setting myself up.

In some ways, because of this realization of the path I want to go down for myself and my mental health, my style to me has gotten boring and I don’t want to blog as much clothing. And by boring, I mean it’s more sleek and fitted. Not loose, off-the-shoulder and boxy. But I’ve also never felt better about my style and direction I am going in.

This is a shameless plug, but my great friend Nicole has the most amazing guide to finding your style that you need to buy. It’s super affordable and makes you be honest with yourself. I’m actually wearing the dress in today’s post because of it! She is a constant icon for me when it comes to finding your style tips!

Finding your style is an ever-evolving thing but it becomes easier when you listen to yourself. No one else can tell you what truly feels YOU. Be true to that voice. And check out a tailor. You won’t regret it.