I will do a lot of things for photos, but sitting next to a snake is not one

There are 2 photos in this post. None of them really give you a great idea of what I wore. I had a lot of plans for showing you how to tie a scarf into a bow (which apparently doesn’t photograph well but it looks really good in real life) and dazzle you all. Please let me explain to you what is happening in these photos. 

Life is great, birds are singing and I am wearing polka dots so life can’t get much better. 
Pants: Gap/Top:Gap/Scarf: Forever21/Shoes: BCBG
LIFE IS OVER AND WENT TO HELL. Right after I took this photo (I was doing this on a tripod) I  turned around to see where I had been sitting and there was a snake. A SNAKE I TELL YOU. I was alone so I was my only protection. I thought about getting my mace out but then I realized it was too cruel for me to do that plus I would probably just make the situation worse because the last time I tried to spray my mace I almost spray myself (another story for another day). It was basically 9ft. long (Ok, it was probably a garden snake or something else but it may as well have been 9ft.) had color, and basically had fangs. I quickly assessed the color situation thinking I actually know something about snakes (which I don’t because they scare the poo out of me), then realize I know nothing and pretty much immediately ran away. In heels. Down a hill. Locked my door. Immediately got my laptop while still shaking and wrote this. 

I will do a lot of things for photos but sitting near a snake or being in the vicinity of a snake is not one of them. You see, snakes haven’t done anything personal to me, other than they exist. Therefore you can see how we do not get along. 
The end.