Hi, I’m Alissa and I’ve never been trick or treating. This is how I imagine I will introduce myself to a group of people when I am forced to share some sort of shocking revelation. It’s true, even as a kid I’ve never been trick or treating. I grew up in a very fundamental church that was full of homeschoolers like myself. Part of the secret homeschool oath is that you be as weird as possible and we exceeded expectations. I never really understood was Halloween was until I was a teenager. Super confusing. Why is there so much orange candy? So you mean to tell me that suddenly stranger danger MEANS NOTHING and parents let their kids go up to someone’s house to ask for candy? Okay, sure, uhuh. That definitely doesn’t sound sketch at all?
So what did I do instead of Halloween? My church always held a “Fall Harvest” party and we weren’t allowed to dress up. It was put on by the church’s youth group so when I was a child I would get to participate and get prizes and as a teenager I was responsible for my own booth. It wasn’t until like four years after my last “Fall Harvest” party that I realized the really cool kids (i.e. not homeschooled kids, there were like three) that were rebellious would sneak out afterwards and get to legit trick-or-treat without their parents knowing. (COOL! In addition to finding out I wasn’t cool, I was also totally unaware of what was going on.)
So here’s the deal: I’ve never dressed up, never knocked on someone’s door and I’ve never been to a Halloween party. Because this is such a quintessential part of an American childhood, I get weird this time of the year. I have nothing to contribute and all of Pinterest is suddenly not relevant to my life. I’ve gotten invited to Halloween parties as an adult but feel ridiculous saying this would be my first party. Plus, what do you do at an adult Halloween party? This year I have one party invite (and supposedly one more coming) but I think I’m going to wimp out. Womp. Womp.
Fast forward to today and I live in a historic area that goes ALLLLLLLL out for Halloween. The first time I saw a house covered in cobwebs and some skeletons I legit thought there was like a mini-cult happening at their house. It wasn’t until my friends (not from my childhood) told me that it’s actually quite common to decorate for Halloween. In fact, much to my shock, people have adults-only costume parties once they get too old to blatantly ask for candy from strangers. To my shock, someone knocked on a door of a house I was in last Halloween and I legit had no idea what the heck I was supposed to do! (I hid inside and pretended to not be home) (Stupid decision because they all knew that trick) Did you know that it is incredibly hard to tell adorable kids in costumes that you don’t have candy? Even for a hardened person like me I felt like the worst human saying I didn’t have anything.
Honestly part of me wants dress up in a costume this year because I think the Instagram photos would be lit. (I say that wishing I was kidding but we all know I’m not) So, yep, I’m 25 and I’ve never been trick or treating. Maybe next year I will actually dress up. I feel like because this would be my first time dressing up there is so much pressure to have a “first costume” that knocks it out of the park.
P.S. I need your opinion! Right or wrong? After the age of 12 you should be cut off from asking people for candy. Period. Dunzo. Nope. Nopers. At that point I feel like you should be contributing to society or something and not asking for handouts. You’ve got to learn life is tough at some point. I’m currently rooting for you all to agree with me because I think that I am right. However, whatever your opinion, we can all agree that November 1st Target clearance is LEGIT.