I’m just going to be honest

I’m sitting here in the library trying to hold my tears back so that I can keep the dam from bursting. Everyone I know knows how bad this semester has been for me. The last two weeks I have dealt with life by simply not caring and having the mentality of just trying to hang on. This finals week is strange for me. I’ve been looking forward to the end of the semester literally all semester long. I walked out of my math final unsure of what happened and how so much time, sweat and tears just ended with a simple test and me walking out.

I have no idea how my Italian final will go. At this point I have done all I can do and that is what I have to keep telling myself, I have done all that I can do. I have been so defined by having a good GPA and nothing below a B for the past few years that when I had to deal with people with low GPA’s I was almost haughty. “How on earth could someone not pass a class?” Pretty sure this is just payback from all of those times. Over and over again I’ve repeated this week “Grades don’t define you. Grades aren’t an indication of how hard you tried. You are more than your grades.” it sounds simple and easy to embrace but it isn’t. 

I have no idea who/if anyone reads this blog but if you do please remember what I said, you are more than your grades. I’m slowly learning that an A isn’t the greatest lesson you can learn.