Oh yeah, you read that correctly. I’m not talking about weight loss. I’m not talking about bettering yourself. I’m talking about how dressing changes when you gain weight. I’ve gained weight. I’m just going to say it. I want other people to know that I’m now taking care of myself but also that it’s okay.
I purposely chose to show an outfit that I felt really confident and cute in, in real life, but it didn’t photograph well. Sometimes I will shoot an outfit and realize it looks completely different in photos than real life (confirmed by people who saw me in real life) and don’t blog it because it’s not the most flattering or something is off. Not this time. This is real life. This is my chin that wasn’t quite at the right angle so it looks a little big.
Winter has been hard to dress for as everything is all about bulky sweaters and I’m like, but what if I already look like a bulky sweater? I guess I’ll just photograph things from their best angles?
I’ve got booty that won’t quit, a rack that won’t go into button down tops without tape and hips that don’t lie. I’ve lost weight and gained it and this is about accepting where I am in life. I won’t say that this is the best version of me, but I will say that this is a really happy version of me. After a pretty traumatic year I’ve learned that I can accept that physically I am not the best me, but mentally I am so much better off.
Go to a REAL Bra Store and Get Fitted
Guys, stop getting measured at VS in 10 seconds. You want to know why you are always getting that weird boob spillage out the sides and the tops? Because it doesn’t fit right. Bras are boring. Basically no one sees them so it’s hard to really to spent $50 on something that just holds your boobs.
I went from a 34C to a 34DD and now I’m a 34D. It most likely doesn’t look like it because I wear bras that camouflage it and also, DD boobs aren’t nearly as big as you think. I could write a whole post on how flawed our perception of big boobs are but I’ll spare you. I was trying to shove my 34D boobs into a 34C and I cannot tell you how many times I texted my friends, “Well, my nipple just popped out again.” I actually looked at a lot of bras but I really love my black Soma bra and tan Soma bra for everyday. (Bonus: The black bra has pretty lace!)
Buy Jeans in Your Correct Size – Even if that Hurts Your Ego
The first thing I did when I realized I had to accept where I am was buy a bigger sized pair of jeans. Why? Because when your clothes fit, you don’t look like you’re trying to shove 10 pounds of extra weight into your previous jeans. For this I call it the, “Can you also breathe in these pants after having to jump around for 10 minutes to get them on?” test.
Really Think About What Makes You Feel Good
I have learned that I feel best in dresses and skirts. I love the femininity. I love the way they flatter my small waist with my larger bust and curvy hips. What did this mean for dressing as I’ve gained weight? I started focusing buying skirts that were more versatile, and dresses that I felt flattered my body but also could be worn multiple ways throughout each season.
I can’t always wear dresses and skirts (in the instance of this outfit, it was 15 degrees with a horrible windchill and I’d just gotten this sweater so I was all about it) and that’s fine. You can’t always wear what you want but on those days you are jumping into your jeans, just think about yourself more positively.
Choose Some Part of Your Body To Love
Despite the fact that I’ve felt like a tub of blubber bouncing around, I’ve realized that I really love my butt, eyes and hair. My butt won’t fit into everything but it’s what I’ve got. I really like my green eyes and I love my curly hair. As I’ve put more focus into those areas and flattering that I’ve realized I’m not just a number. No matter what the situation is, there is something positive and in this instance, if you look really hard, there’s going to still be something about yourself that you realize rocks.
Jeans: Old Navy (exact)
Bag: Madewell (exact)
Earrings: Bloomingdale’s (similar) (similar)
Lipstick: Too Faced (exact)
Heels: Zara (similar)
You are more than your body. Repeat. You and I are both worth more than our body. Surround yourself with people who remind you of that. I’m not advocating for ignoring health issues or saying to simply forget to take care of yourself. What I am saying is that I truly have a support system who makes me feel like more than a number or size.
I think that the most important thing I’ve learned is that I should never neglect myself and assume that my body can just handle whatever it is I throw at it, whether that be food, stress, trauma, not taking self-care seriously, etc. Your body is an incredible thing but sometimes it just can’t handle everything. I’m taking a step back in my life to a) thank my body b) slowly return back to where I feel healthy and like Alissa c)not beating myself up for where I am.