This post took me 3 hours to write. Words come naturally to me but for this, I didn’t know where to start. I pose in front of a camera every day. I smile, laugh, make funny faces and show a confident self. The truth is that since the beginning of this year I have been spiraling downward. Not mentally, in fact, mentally I am stronger than ever. Physically I have been spiraling out of control. It’s been no one’s fault but my own.
The spring semester came in January of 2013 and I killed it. I worked hard and it paid off. I worked hard to balance school, working, a relationship, keeping up with homework, clean home, etc. Notice something missing? I forgot to work on myself. In fact, I didn’t exercise once in the spring semester. I thought that I was totally burning calories walking to and from class, work etc. The “hill” was totally going to take care of those late night pizza parties, ice cream dates and eating at all hours of the day.
To put it simply, I was spiraling out of control. Not only in my calorie and physical activities I was also spending entirely too much money, not packing my lunch, buying Diet Coke’s like they were the only way I staying alive. I did what every other college student does and totally thought I would workout during the summer and everyone would be all “DAMMMMMNNNNNNNNN ALISSA GOT FINE!!!” and life would be great all all that jazz.
Summer went by. I not only did not workout, I actually started eating even more crap and thought that eating a box of Mike and Ike’s wouldn’t catch up to me. Then it came time for my annual women’s exam and I did my whole, “YOU CAN TAKE OFF 5 POUNDS OFF THE WEIGHT RIGHT?” thing in my head.
I weighed in. I nearly gasped. The nurse had to ask if I was OK. I shrugged it off and googled what was the healthy weight for someone my height. I started sweating, nearly crying. I immediately subtracted 5 pounds and still freaked out. Every minus 5 pounds I was the heaviest of my life.
I did what I always did, I emotionally ate an ice cream cone and drank a large Coke Zero. I didn’t know what to do. I had to do something. I knew what was happening, I could feel it in my clothes. I saw the sizes I was having to squeezing into, I knew all of this and did nothing. Until about 4 weeks ago.
This was a turning point for me. Next week I will talk about what I decided to do about losing weight. It wasn’t an overnight success. It was a struggle, but I’ve learned so much about myself.