Pie Outrage, A Comfortable Dress and Holiday Engagement Season

Oh hey there, you know how sometimes you call up your best friend because you realize you haven’t had a crazy talk session in a while and you have to get it all out before you explode from the pressure of pretending to be a normal human being? If you do understand this, you are most likely one of the said friends I call to get the crazy out or thoughts I’ve had on my mind. In this instance though, no one was available to take my call so I wrote a post. 


 1. I Need a Freaking Five Week Break Between Baby Announcement Season and Engagement Season

I thought I was out of the woods when it had been a whole week that someone on my social media channels hadn’t announced what they were doing last winter on those snow days that I woke up to the beginning of engagement season. I just need like five weeks off. I need there to not be such a circle of life thing happening. Or the triangle of engagement from now to New Years. Also, definitely not here for a holiday proposal, but definitely not here for a Halloween proposal which is apparently a common thing now. NO! Do not make your first photo after you got engaged of you as Jake from State Farm and Flo from Progressive. You owe it to yourself. 



 2. I Accidentally Pulled Off No-Shave November
 How? Skirts + tights. Jeans. Pants. Dresses + tights. Leggings. It’s been a blessed month.
(Note: I sometimes forget that anyone can read what I wrote on the internet and I need to clarify that I have actually done personal grooming, but I’ve definitely also used tights and leggings to my advantage. Who has time to shave BOTH legs every other day(ish) of the week.)

Winter Jersey Dress that Is Curve Hugging and So Flattering!
Dress: Joe Fresh (exact for under $15!))
Shoes: Target (exact)
Earrings: BaubleBar (exact and on sale!)
Bag: Madewell (exact) (more affordable)
Winter Jersey Dress that Is Curve Hugging and So Flattering!
Dress: Joe Fresh (exact for under $15!))
Shoes: Target (exact)
Earrings: BaubleBar (exact and on sale!)
Bag: Madewell (exact) (more affordable)

 3. Don’t Talk to Me about Getting My Life Together if You Can’t Get Your Eyebrows Together
I got a lecture from someone the other day about how young 20 somethings don’t have their lives together, are always on Buzzfeed looking for validation, always wanting to you know, have a decent paying job, etc. The entire time I was getting said lecture I caught myself looking at the person’s eyebrows, which was perfect because she thought I was making eye contact with her. I just… I might be a millennial searching for purpose in life and make some mistakes, but at least I’m not lecturing someone about their life when my eyebrows look like the Nike swoosh/a comma.


Winter Jersey Dress that Is Curve Hugging and So Flattering!
Winter Jersey Dress that Is Curve Hugging and So Flattering!
Dress: Joe Fresh (exact for under $15!))
Shoes: Target (exact)
Earrings: BaubleBar (exact and on sale!)
Bag: Madewell (exact) (more affordable)


 4. This is a repeat, but please stay with me. Is a cheesecake a type of pie?  Also, why do sweet old ladies insist I like pie?
But seriously, is a cheesecake a type of cake or pie? I need to know what you think because I think this varies by region. Also, a super sweet old lady told me that when I am truly an adult I will like pie. I blushed and then said, “Uh..”

 5. It’s 2015 and We Still Don’t Have WiFi that Charges Our Phones. How?
I mean, if WiFi is somehow able to be invisible and magically work through air, it could at least also charge electronics. Someone please get on that. We all need that in our lives. We don’t even know we need it but the moment someone reads this and then makes charging WiFi happen, people won’t know how they lived before. 

 6. (BONUS!) The phrase, “Let’s get Coffee!”
If I was counting how many times I was supposed to get coffee with someone when we said to each other we should get coffee I would have a full-time job of getting coffee. We need to stop lying to each other because we both know we are never going to reach out again and want to get coffee. Let’s quit pretending. (But actually if you’ve wanted to have coffee and I’ve actually made eye contact and smiled that was genuine and let’s get lunch.)