I turn 26 tomorrow. Gulp. Ever since I have been 20 I have had a hard time with my emotions about getting one year older. I was doing *so* well with my emotions until last night, right before scheduling this post, I had what we shall call, a feelings fest at Planet Sub at 8:45 pm. I know, I know, it’s not the end of the world, but I did start researching eye creams because you know, 26 is the new 90.
One of the biggest things that challenged me at 25 was my body. My boobs got bigger, I gained muscle, my but got rounder and my confidence grew. It actually took me a few months (an awkward phase during the summer) to figure out how to deal with this “new” body I felt like I suddenly had.
Oh guess what? These pants that I’m wearing (and LOVE!) from Gordmans? I would have NEVER worn them before 25. Why? Because anything other than black pants on my thighs would make me so self-conscious I couldn’t even look at myself in a mirror at home. Whenever I am struggling with this insecurity, I read my post on “Stop Hating Your Thighs and Live Your Life.”
One of the best things I did in 2015 was join a Fit Body Bootcamp. Although I wasn’t as able to be consistent as I wanted as I started traveling for work, this has been one of the biggest confidence boosters in the past year! The thing about FBBC is that you are ALWAYS pushing yourself. The workouts are grueling (I’ve never sweat more), but what I love about it is that suddenly one day, you realize that you are doing box jumps faster than you were two weeks ago. Suddenly you are able to do more HIIT without having to catch your breath.
Even when I don’t love my body, I go to gym class and I walk out loving my body because it just went through a grueling workout. Accepting myself, my body where it is RIGHT THEN AND THERE has been a huge help. Sure, I still struggle with those bad body image days, but I always can go to gym class and see where I’ve improved and I know I am working on the best version of myself.
I am not competitive with other people, I accept if I suck at something. But what I do not accept? Losing to myself. That’s where I draw the line. If I know you are good at something, I will happily walk away and let you win, but if it’s something I know I can win at? GAME ON. Put on your cute, supportive sports bra (like this one!) and it’s going down.
I had to learn how to wear button down tops with a larger chest (aka, I gave up that fight), accepting that my butt is going to firmly be in the large size of anything. I also had to learn that I needed to accept where I was and it just mean I needed to find out what works best for me right where I am at the moment.
Also, I now either have gym clothes on or a dress, there’s no in-between. I was told I needed to wear jeans the other day and I couldn’t even find a pair. Gym clothes are soooo much cuter than they used to be and quite frankly, butts are in style so I am all for active wear that shows the squat work I am putting in. I love Gordman’s athletic section because I am not about to spend $50 on Nike or Reebok pants that I sweat in. Nope, not happening. So I always look for a cheaper alternative to name brands because those student loans don’t repay themselves.
Instead of seeing what I wish I could change, I focus on how much stronger I am than I was three weeks before. Accepting myself where I am but also competing with myself has been FUN. I LOVE getting to track how much stronger I am than I was the week before. I do not love the extreme sweat from the stupid burpees that my coaches make me do (can someone please explain to what the heck burpees actually do for my body?) but I do love that I know week by week, I’m doing the best I can and my best is getting better and I just have to accept that.
P.S. If you’re out and about, check out Gordman’s on the 14th where there is an in-store event where you can get $6.99 women’s fleece jackets and you can win an iTouch watch!