Have you ever had a dream where you are screaming, pleading for someone to listen to you but no one can seem to even seem to acknowledge you? I have this dream frequently during stressful times. I’m pleading, begging for anyone to listen and it’s as if I am invisible. It was just a dream before. Until now. I felt like I was screaming in a crowd of people, begging for reassurance and answers, but no one even know I was there. Anxiety isolation is the dream I have that came to life.
I’ve talked about anxiety before, but recently, although incredibly happy, I’ve been experiencing a lot of it. In fact, some of it is because there is so much GOOD happening that I feel paralyzed. There was an incident recently where something was happening and it sent me into a serious anxiety attack. I couldn’t breathe. I had to stop what I was doing and try to find myself. When I confided in some people, although very well-intentioned, told me it would be fine.
Yes, but me confiding in you I’m struggling with someone doesn’t work that way. In my heart I know it’s fine, but my brain is replaying every single scenario. My brain doesn’t do “fine.” I am wired to instantly play out 15 different scenarios, try to think of the long-term implications and then immediately zone back into reality (throw back to That’s So Raven!) and then act like everything is “fine.”
I’ve tried to change this part of me. However, honestly this immediately reaction comes in so handy with my job. I have backups on backups. I have to be quick and nimble. I’ve stopped beating myself up for loving to have so many plans, it’s become a huge asset and something that I know helps me. But also realizing when it’s bad for my mental and physical health (Anxiety manifests it’self in a physical way for me that can set in before I even know what’s happening.) is part of what the journey has been.
Just Because You Don’t Struggle, Don’t Ignore Someone Else’s Anxiety Isolation
So my ask is this, just because you are able to process things, don’t dismiss that someone else is struggling with it. Listen to them. All I could do was try to confide in people and share what was happening. If someone takes the time to do that, acknowledge their feels are real. Possibly not incredibly rational in the moment, but valid none the less. Anxiety distorts things. You are literally in an elevated state.
It is terrifying to feel completely isolated yet be surrounded by people. And that is exactly what being in that anxiety state is like. Surrounded, being told things, but completely isolated.
What isn’t a trigger for you, doesn’t mean this isn’t something that can paralyze another person. You have a friend in me if you are experiencing any of these feelings of anxiety isolation. Please reach out on social or email me if you need someone to talk to. You’ve got a friend in me.
Mira
That dress is just lovely!
Mira Audrey’s
Michelle
I understand exactly what you mean, Alyssa. And, you’re right, what happens is not rational and reaching out to someone just needing to talk it through and having the response, “it’ll be fine” is unhelpful at best and hurtful at worst. I myself suffer from an anxiety disorder as well as depression, sometimes in combination. And, while I may not always reach out, when I do it’s hard and I generally just need someone to hear me. I don’t need fixed or given a pat on the back, I just need to NOT feel invisible. I understand…and, same goes here, if you ever need someone to speak with or just to listen, I’m here.
Bailey
Thank you so much for speaking not only about the struggles that come with anxiety but the way it can shape our lives, our paths, and the way we navigate our careers! Sometimes we tend to hang on to parts of anything that give us an edge – and now crisis planning and response are my superpowers!
Lyddiegal
Anxiety is so difficult to deal with. Even when you are still functional (or pretending to be), even when everyone else thinks you are fine, to just feel crippled… it’s not a good way to live.
Chic on the Cheap