I love having my life very open and being able to look back on my life since college. Overall, I don’t have too many regrets about the things I’ve shared. However, I do have a new look on things and that I think is worth a discussion with you all. I believe in being very transparent about where I am in life, struggles, etc. But I also believe that because I am so open about this, I have the right to have some privacy.
The idea of not sharing something seems unfathomable, especially to a blogger. We share what we buy, what we are doing (way too much, like no one cares), our grocery carts and even what we make off our blogs. We share so much that I find it REFRESHING when someone DOESN’T share something. Like what if we just volunteered and did something kind without putting it on Instagram? It’s fun to share, but there’s a definite line between fun and oversharing.
I did a random acts of kindness weekend in August. I didn’t even tell my friends. I’m not saying it for the glory now, but I’m saying it because it was so nice to just be NICE and enjoy the day. Do we ever try to be kind or share just for the sake of that vs sharing that moment that makes us look good.
My current relationship is the best one I’ve ever been in. The absolute best. After the break-up of post-college, I thought about whether or not I was going to share again when I was dating. I made the choice to not. When it’s appropriate I’ll talk about it. It was hard having people email me and ask how myself and the ex were doing. It was painful to even read his name. I was so torn because I was humbled anyone cared, but also in so much pain even seeing the name would set me back.
I made the choice to make this relationship private and I don’t regret it. It was definitely hard for him as he read the blog and would see the ex’s name. But it’s not fair to in any way compare the person I am today to 22 year old me who was so unaware of what would happen. I want something that is ours and the people who I interact with on a daily basis to know, but I honestly don’t want to share as many details. I just want to share that it is wonderful and I am very happy.
And another thing…
I’ve had job loss before. I’ve become slightly more open about what I do, but I STILL have some PTSD feelings about suddenly everything being taken away from me. It’s been years. I’m still not able to completely shake the feeling that it could all fall apart. I’m so happy. So, so, so happy. I hold tight to this because of the fear of feeling like falling into an abyss at any moment.
… But I Do Still Want to Share
So with all of that said, I DO still want to share. I love it. I just want you to know why I’ve chosen to not *quite* share all the details like I used to. In the coming months I’m going to share more about my job and my life, but I want to be transparent with you all. You all know the true Alissa, not just the Instagram-ready version. You’re going to still see me messy, complicated, but I’m going to show up.
So that’s what’s up. I love you all! And trust me, transparency and messiness in life will always be here.
Meg @ Closet Fashionista
Yea, I’m the same way. With clothes and stuff I’m all about the sharing. But I keep most of my private life, private. I may have mentioned my boyfriend in passing a couple times on the blog but didn’t really start mentioning him until after we were engaged. I still don’t do it all that much because I want to keep that part of our lives private. (but I think I am going to do a ‘wedding week’ after the wedding and share stuff, haha. We’ll see.)
http://www.closet-fashionista.com/
Rachelle
I accept both, I share very little about me personal life because that’s just who I am. I loved your blog when you shared more and I love it now as well. I feel like you are always true to yourself whether you share personal details or not.
xo
Pinksole
Shira
I’m always trying to find the balance of what to share and what not to share. I’ve personally chosen to keep a lot to myself because that’s what works for me but it’s such a personal choice! I think people think that because we have public blogs, we owe our lives story and that’s just not true.
https://asequinloveaffair.com
Angela
This blog entry is INCREDIBLY refreshing and timely. While I am without a blog, active facebook, etc, I had a habit of oversharing the details of my relationships, work dealings, finances and misfortunes with anyone that would listen. As time wore on, some relationships were strained, others came to a natural end and others, well I have been blessed with the begrudgingly bestowed wisdom to move on. Nowadays, I simply think it’s silly to share all the details with the world. I don’t regret it, but man-oh-MAN…I’m so glad that’s behind me. By keeping a tighter circle and even tighter lips, I’ve been able to witness some pretty transformative manifestations this summer, all of which were divulged to..(crickets, that’s the point). There is something very…adult about keeping your business to yourself. Controlling the narrative feels good and empowering! Great read Alissa!
Simplement Lui
I think it’s the perfect approach to share what you want to share … and no more 😉 Everyone deserves its own garden or even secret garden!
Happy Friday xx
https://4highheelsfans.wordpress.com/2018/09/07/vezelay/
Lyddiegal
I do think we love to share, but typically only the highlights. People usually only share the low points once they are past them and can wrap up the experience in a neat little bow.
I feel like most people share, but they don’t give details. It’s all fluff and no substance. I like that when you share, you share for real.
Chic on the Cheap
Mira
Looks great!
Mira Audrey’s