My Bridesmaids Tell All: Their Thoughts on Our Friendship

Today my bridesmaids are taking over to share about our friendship! Yes, in their own words they are talking about friendship and their perspective on our. Yay! This blog has always been a very open journal, but also a place where I work through some issues so pardon the personal post. Friendship is one of the biggest themes this year in my life. Partially because I feel like I’ve been bad at it, but also because as I get older, I realize how important these relationships are in my life.

I asked them to answer some questions to talk about not only our relationship, but being friends with me. Of these women, I’ve been friends with them from 5 to over 15 years! So they know what they are talking about when they say they have been there through everything. They have all seen me at the lowest point of my life, which I’m still not ready to talk about, and the highest, aka right now.

Before we get into this, I should note, pretty much NONE of these women had met everyone in real life until bridesmaid dress shopping. So basically this post was their virtual introduction to each other when I introduced it. So 2019.

On Unlikely Friendship…

Sarah, friend of 10 years: Alissa and I had a bit of a rocky start to our friendship, to say the least. She was, in my opinion, an overly perky 17 year old and due to my own insecurities, I didn’t react well when we started working together. (Alissa here, I straight up say she STRONGLY DISLIKED me and she honestly doesn’t even deny it anymore.)  After some time, our friendship tentatively began to grow when she started taking some college classes. Fast forward to today and I can confidently say she is one of the best, most caring people that I know. Over the years we have faced so many challenges together ranging from losing jobs to having major surgery.

Alissa: I literally started out the wedding toast as, “If you would have told me I would be here I would have laughed.” That’s how unlikely it was that Sarah and I were to be friends. But to be honest, this is a theme in my life that my best friends have come from the weirdest relationships and situations. Even ones where you ask your mom what to do to make a person like you. Ahem.

How Does our Introvert/Extrovert Dynamic Work?

Jessica, friend of 5 years: Maybe because I am a long distance friend I haven’t had to adjust too much? I do mentally prep for our time together because you are so much higher energy than I am. It’s not at all a problem, it’s just something that I have learned helps. I psych myself up for the energy, but usually I am pretty excited too because it has been so long since I saw you. Being energetic enough to keep up with you is probably the biggest adjustment to when I see you in real life.

I love how, no matter how much our lives have changed and how self-absorbed I have been with my own life, you have never held that against me. You are always there and always understanding of what is going on. I appreciate that so much.

My favorite part of our friendship is that it has gotten deep enough that I feel we can be totally honest with each other. We aren’t the kind of friends that just tell each other “you rock and everything is awesome.” We can tell each other when we aren’t making the best decision or doing the right thing. I really appreciate that and it is one of the best things about our friendship.

Alissa: I think that if we were both extroverted we couldn’t exist! I love that Jessica is my absolute truthful friend who CALLSSSSS me out. The first time that happened I was like oh wait, this is what friends do? But I love that about her. She’s introverted in very opposite ways that I am so we are an amazing balance of opposite but self-awareness to know what we both need.

How Has Our Friendship Changed?

Kara, friend of 17 years: In a way, ambition and drive to be successful has been a part of our relationship since the beginning. Alissa has always been the go-getter, and I’m more of a let-things-come-to-me type; I think that’s played out in our relationship as well. I honestly don’t believe that she sleeps, because what I get done in a week, she could accomplish in a day.

Honestly, in the last year or two, our friendship has changed drastically. Never once have I doubted that if I call her she wouldn’t drop everything and come to my rescue. (We really only talk on the phone when it’s an emergency/serious situation. Or, you know, Drake.)

In past years, we weren’t affectionate with each other, didn’t really do much to invest in our relationship. It just kind of was. I think I got kind of lazy and knew that eventually she would come to me…which she always did. But somewhere along the way of living our lives, we both started missing each other and decided we wanted to be more intentional about being there for each other. (Let’s be honest, she took the initiative on this.)

We talked about our love languages and even hashed out some of the old wounds that we never addressed because we didn’t want to rock the boat. In fact, this exact post is what she wrote after that conversation. I could not be happier with where we are and the space we have together.

Alissa: Kara is the longest friend I’ve had and probably the one that has taught me the most. Kara and I are so opposite in so many amazing ways. I completely echo that we both got a little lazy about friendship because we knew that at the end of the day, we are always there for each other. Also, we weren’t really that vulnerable about what we needed in our relationship. Until I cried for like an entire night and things have been extremely different in the best way!

I love all of these women so much. I can’t even say how much I love them. They are my rocks. I love that while many friends are growing apart, despite the extremely different places in life we are, we’ve grown stronger. That’s not an easy task. It takes time, determination and communication. I’m thankful for every single text, call and blog comment they leave.

Ladies, you are the best.