“Alissa, Will You Marry Me?”

This has been the biggest secret I’ve ever actually managed to keep completely under wraps! We’re engaged! While I don’t share as many personal details as I used to, but this one is too big and makes me entirely too happy to keep to myself. I said YES on October 4th when we were in Nashville. Life since then has been chaotic, wonderful, amazing and completely enthralling. I hope this feeling never goes away. I want to live this way forever and I never want this happiness to end.

Suddenly I giggle for no reason. I become bashful and shyly hold out my ring to show it off while wondering where the confident, assertive Alissa has gone. I truly feel weak in the knees when I tell the story of our engagement, so it’s a great thing I’m able to type this and not tell it to you in person.

How He Proposed

We had been planning our Nashville trip for months. I had planned on it being one of our only true vacations. He was planning on it being where we got engaged. We were on slightly different pages. Anyway, as the trip became closer, my gut was telling me it was going to happen. Nothing in particular stood out, Ken is a master at playing it chill. His entire career is based on the ability to stay calm under pressure so it’s not concerning how cool, calm and collected he was about all of this.

The week before our trip Ken had continuously asked me to please make sure I really tried to not work. (The running joke is that PTO is pretend time off, RTO is real time off.) Nothing unusual, but I was already on high-alert. He told me not to worry about money as he had been saving and wanting me to not worry about anything.

We took off for Nashville and I was at a 12/10 for paranoia, looking for any signs of it happening. My heart wouldn’t stop racing. Every movement he made I was looking to see if he was starting to bend his knee. We went to a high-end consignment boutique and as we were looking at a dress I tried on, I aggressively got in his face and asked, “Is something going on? What’s happening?”

I was real subtle. But that was just the beginning.

The next day we had on our agenda to visit Cheekwood Gardens. We pulled up and as Ken opened my door, I tried to feel for a ring in his front pocket. (What on earth was I going to do if I would have found one?!) I tried to be subtle but it ended up being more like a slap that was extremely not subtle. Cool. Good job on being subtle Alissa.

We were taking photos (this one was one of them) and I noticed he was taking some on one knee. Honestly? My first reaction was, “YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT ANGLE!” Somehow I wasn’t like thinking, oh this could be it. I blame my adrenaline because this entire time was just a constant paranoia of what is happening. We took photos for a while and then went on a walk around the the gardens and then I suggested we drive to the mansion.

Then we drove up and to the wrong area, but it was gorgeous and secluded we both noticed, for very different reasons. Found a parking spot up front and went through the art gallery and took a tour. During the tour I noticed Ken was just SWEATING! Not only that, he was also clammy! I wasn’t even touching him (it was quite hot in Nashville that week) and he felt like a heat lamp! I was thinking, “Dude it’s hot in here but it’s not that hot! Get it together!”

And Then it Happened

We went outside and he said he wanted to take more photos of me. I was kind of over it at this point but I humored him. Once again he was on his knee and I just kept thinking about how it could NOT have been a good angle. He was on his knee when he asked me, “Do you want lunch?” to which of course I was like “YES!”

Then he asked me a few moments later if I was having a good time. Yes again! The, since he had the momentum of two positive answers so far, he asked, “Alissa, will you marry me?” to which I again said, “Yes!” Except that this yes was shy and adrenaline filled somehow. The ring was in his BACK pocket (thank God I didn’t look there) and it was perfect. It was even better than I had imagined it when we designed it.

Oh and in case you’re wondering. We did have lunch and it was Greek and delicious and I don’t remember anything about it except that he made a video of photos of us throughout the years which made us both cry. In a Greek restaurant. In Nashville. It’s fine.

Emotions

It’s hard to believe that I wasn’t the person who screamed when she got engaged. I was weirdly calm but also in pain from smiling so much. It wasn’t clicking that it actually happened yet I felt a little paralyzed. I was worried about whatever I do first being wrong. So while Ken felt this amazing relief of it being over and me saying yes, I was sitting there, worried about everything and my world was spinning.

We went to an amazing meal at Husk and that is when the excitement set in. I left my phone in the room and was just so there in the moment. Friday was when the EEKKKKKKK set in! I kept telling Ken to pay attention to my ring and I looked at in ALL the light! Friday was probably even better than Thursday because truly, nothing else mattered. I was just so there and I allowed myself to feel every emotion and ride it out.

Engagement-Moon

One of my favorite things that I cannot recommend enough was that we basically had an engagment-moon. No one knew. It was just us and truly nothing mattered. On Friday when my adrenaline had come down and I woke up, my immediate feeling was that it was just us and nothing else mattered. I have never had my heart and my brain just completely at peace before in my life. But waking up on October 5th, I had a peace and a calm I’ve never felt before. I was present in the moment. It was one of the best weekends of my life, which I hope is topped only by our wedding weekend!

The Ring

For a very long time we’ve been looking at rings as we were out. We talked about what we felt was “me” and the feeling I wanted. We hadn’t actually gone into any stores yet, but I knew nothing was going to grab me. I worried about having the same ring as someone else so I definitely wanted something custom. My friend Jessica’s grandparents had a wonderful jeweler in Kansas City, The Polished Edge, that we visited one weekend in May of this year to design something.

I was so thankful that we talked to him because the cut of the diamond I thought I wanted was NOT at all what I pictured. Originally I wanted an emerald cut and I realized that unless you are buying a 3-4ct diamond, that looks great, but the details of an emerald cut get quickly lost when small. I very quickly got over what I thought was THE cut for me and moved on. We sketched something right then with a radiant cut diamond and I knew exactly what I wanted for the band.

I could not love my ring more! Not only do I feel like it’s the classic with a touch of art deco that I wanted, but I love that it’s MINE. It’s just MINE, only my design. The radiant cut just SHIMMERS in the light! I find myself staring at my own ring, wondering if this even real life. I’ve become VERY distracted by it it’s all I can do to not just stare at it.

The day after we got engaged I was trying on sweaters and I kept saying, “Oooo, this sweater looks GREAT with my ring!” which about lead to four extra purchases. I’m telling you, you have a ring on your finger and you will lose your logical side of your brain. The side that makes you take photos of your ring in front of EVERYTHING takes over and you don’t even have any shame.

The Funniest Moment

We took a few selfies right after the engagement and of course, I took ring photos. I looked at my hand and my nails looked terrible! I had read a long time ago that you should get a manicure after you get engaged because people start looking at your hand. So, in a classic Alissa move, 90 minutes after getting engaged and eating lunch, I was at a nail salon getting a manicure and I have NO regrets! That article was completely right.

Next Steps

This one is more complicated. I want a long engagement for a couple of reasons. However, he does not! Things are already booked for 2019! Plus, this has been one of the only times in my life that I haven’t had every single detailed planned. Instead, I’m living in the moment! I’m not just racing to the goal of a wedding day. I am so happy! So happy!

I’m not allowed to officially wedding plan until January 1st. Allegedly. But we all know I could pull this thing off next month if needed. Now on January 1st, I am going to Monica Geller this up and have THE WEDDING BINDER ready to go. I’ve already looked into the cost of earpieces for the wedding day because nothing is going to be left to chance. (My not-yet-asked-bridal-party is already groaning/saw this one coming.)

Of course there will be many Wedding Wednesday posts coming, but not for a while! I’m going to take this journey, one wonderful day at a time.